I had a dream, it was a painterly dream. Full of strokes and freedom to paint outside the lines. I awoke with a vision in my head of a wild country rose painted slightly differently than my usual style. This inspired me. I don’t know where it came from……..but the inspiration lingered.
I honestly have not been truly INSPIRED in two years. My mojo left me. Painting had become a chore, and difficult. I was on the cusp of my recognition for all my years and hard work. Solid following. But I just couldn’t do it anymore. The thought of painting made me shake to the point of not being able to do lines for my graphic style work, and physically ill.
So I abandoned the one thing- that had brought me solace for many years – the one thing that had made such sense – that glimmer of hope. Gone – POOF!
Though I moved, I still kept a studio, never going inside it. I would look at it from the doorway, peer in and say “Hello” once in a while.
Over these two years I’ve dabbled, but have only finished two pieces during that time that I can even remember. And even those are not truly memorable pieces. I could feel the desire returning over the past few months. Like the clouds had parted and sunlight peered down on this rose……..
So I decided to go for it. What do I have to loose? I had already lost practically everything as far as my art career went. So I devised an experiment. The rules for the experiment were simple. I could only use one brush (1″ flat), I was not allowed to have defined lines, and I was not to worry about color coverage.
These three “rules” are very ANTI-Kris. My work relies on extreme detail, solid color blocking, and defined areas. So this was going to be a challenge.
I started off with an 18×24x3/4 canvas and painted it solid black. I then went through and did some roughing in with a very dark charcoal.
Raw studio shot of phase 1
I then proceeded to scrub in more lighter greys, wich is a technique I have never used. I felt natural, but dirty at the same time like I was cheating.
Raw studio show of phase 2
Raw studio shot of phase 3
From here I got semi excited, busy, and forgot to take many in between shots. The painting was starting to come into focus at this point. It wasn’t really anywhere near my dream, but it was progress non-the-less since I actually picked up a brush.
Raw studio photo of Phase 7
At this point I knew it would never be what I envisioned, but it’s not a universe away either. I hung this painting upside down in my bedroom so I could look at it as I fell asleep. Then I hung it sideways so I could examine it more. I came to the conclusion the main petal was way to “heart” shaped and the bottom petal’s color shift was way to extreme. I also noted that I needed to round out the bottom of the rose for the composition.
Final (Raw shot)
She’s not perfect. But she’s done. After a long discussion with a fellow artist Robin Cruz. We both came to conclusion that she’s pretty, and unique, but it’s not me. And I don’t want to be a watered down version of myself, and produce watered down versions of my art. This painting though pretty, is like looking through a vaseline lens at my own work. It’s not crisp, or clean – not FOCUSED. Much like myself of late. I’m not sure what I expected as this was not the intent (to create crisp and clean) but I think it lit the fire again.
I guess I had to deconstruct why I paint the way I do, in order to fall in love with it again.
lol) I had alot of fun shading skin in this new medium. I generally use watercolors for flora only but I think this was a fun project and might do more. Can I promise that no, because my attention span is short and I jump artistically often. (Speaking of that – it brings alot of fans – but it’s hard to satisfy them all I find. lol)